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Who is This Lone Knight Who So Stoically Guards PCD?

Where didst this noble knight come from? Why hast he taken up residence beside the back door of Plain City Druggist? What foul deed does he guard the drugstore from falling victim to?

And, honestly, is that really a knight or just a very short piece of armor? We hope, in this heat, there is no one inside.

Here’s the tale of our empty suit of armor. 

We recently attended one of Joe’s family reunions. The Maggerts are a bunch of tricksters who always hold an auction during their weekend family event to pay for food and other expenses associated with the gathering (they are tricksters, but very frugal ones). There are lots of good things in the auction, but also funny things, as well, which is just what you would expect from this group who loves a good laugh.

At the last Maggert reunion in June, Joe and I left before the auction was over and before the suit of armor went on the auction block. Somehow, Joe’s brother, Aaron, ended up with it and deposited it behind the pharmacy. We’re not sure if Aaron actually bid on it and brought it to us as a joke or if the practical jokester Maggerts thought an armored knight was just what our pharmacy needed to guard us against “drug dealers” and other unsavory characters. In any case, the armor is now with us and we are trying to decide what to do with it.

Here are a few possibilities:

Should we sneak over to Aaron’s and leave the armor for him? Maybe perched in the back of his truck? Joe and Aaron used to pass a t-shirt with a rather tacky message on it back and forth to each other on birthdays and at Christmas. Maybe the armor can be passed around in the same way.

Should we set the suit of armor by the front door of the drugstore, a bit like the old cigar store wooden Indians that hovered in entryways decades ago? 

Should we set our pretend Knight near the front counter with a message attached to his shield? Perhaps something like this: “If it feels like you’ve been waiting since Medieval Times for your prescriptions, get in line behind me. The staff will have your medicines ready promptly or suffer the wrath of an angry knight.”

What do you think should become of our empty suit of armor? 

Here stands our knight with a box containing all his worldly valuables (perhaps a change of underwear and his dog-eared copy of The Canterbury Tales) and a cooler for his Royal Crown Cola.

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